Saturday 8 October 2011

Spy Kids 4:All The Time In The World

Hey guys! Ok, I went to the cinema today and went and saw Spy Kids 4. I know this film came out in August, I think in America, but in New Zealand we usually get most films late. For example, the worst case I think was that Coraline came out in February 2009 in the US. We didn't get it until August >.< Anyways, I am not writing a review about Coraline, I am writing a review about Spy Kids. Lets get started!! :D



OK, let me say that I LOVED the original Spy Kids trilogy growing up! I have watched the first two in the series numerous times growing up and I did like the 3rd one, just not as much as the first two. I loved the script, I loved the actors, I loved the different missions and all of the different obstacles that Carmen and Juni had to go through in each film. Every thing that I loved in the original trilogy wasn't present in this piece of garbage. The writing wasn't there, the actors weren't there, the missions weren't there and there were no obstacles.
I was expecting to this film to revamp the original series and make a new trilogy. Now, I am hoping that everyone will forget about this film and just leave the original trilogy as it is.
The main thing that I hated about this film was the writing. The original trilogy had some clever dialogue and  didn't have to rely on poop and fart jokes and puns. That's what most of the humor was in this film. Nearly every line in the film had a pun that involved time. It was always something about a watch, clocks, minutes etc. It very very vaguely reminded me of all of the puns that were in Batman & Robin..and we all know how that film turned out... The rest of the dialogue was always something about poop or farting or something to to with dogs. The original films didn't have ANYTHING like that! I hated how Robert Rodriguez let the writer of the this film put all of this into the film. He should what the original films are like since..um..HE DIRECTED THEM! And don't even get me started on how annoying that bloody dog was.
Another thing that I really hated was the acting in this film. NO ONE could act! The main kids in the films were just...unbearable! I couldn't believe that these two were cast..They couldn't act to save their lives and it was really noticeable..All of their lines were delivered way too over the top or with no passion at all. Surly they could of found some kids who can actually act. I mean, they found some who could act for the first movie..why not this time round?  The rest was of the cast was just as bad. Jessica Alba hasn't made the best choices of film recently. I know that she has likes to be in Robert's films but she could at least but a bit of effort into her performance. Jole McHale...What the hell was he doing in this...In fact, I should say..Why was he in this? He didn't do anything! He just did what he did in real life! Be annoying and do random television shows...He didn't do anything and he had nothing to do with the plot. He was just..there...and he took up unnecessary space. The cast was just..CRAP!
The plot of this film was.. incomprehensible. It involved something to do with time travel and to me, time travel is confusing as it is and then this added something more to make it even more confusing. Movies...DON'T ADD TIME TRAVEL! You will only create plot holes and make things confusing. The only film I have seen that pulled it off was Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban. And of course, Harry Potter is a masterpiece and Spy Kids 4 isn't.. And because of the time travel, the villain of the film was able to clone himself a billion times or something so..yeah..I will leave that thought with you to think about..
I am actually a huge fan of 3D. I support it all of the way just as long as the format is used correctly. For Example..Final Destination 5, Cars 2 and Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. This..was not one of those films.. I remember when I saw Spy Kids 3D: Game Over. I was constantly grabbing for things and ducking all over the place. I had so much fun with that film. This one...had NOTHING!  I was so bloody disappointed! I was hoping for them to have the same gimmicky stuff like number 3 had. This one had a couple of shots where things were supposed to come forward to your face..but they just didn't..It felt like I was watching a 2D movie. Now I don't know if the film was converted into 3D or shot in 3D but if it was shot in 3D..HORRIBLE JOB DIMENSION STUDIOS! The best 3D shot was in the opening credits with the Troublemaker Studios logo..
The ending to the film was so cheesy! The two kids from the film pretended that they were recording the cinema and that all of the children in the cinema watching the film are recruited to being a spy kid..I have to admit, It sounds like a cool concept but it comes off cheesy and REALLY rehearsed and staged..
The film keeps on paying these 'homages' to the original film. There was a true homage to the original films but I will get to that later. The 'homages' that the had, were that they new families house looked the same, the kids were introduced the same way to the OSS as the original ones and they even remix the soundtrack slightly. But it didn't come off like an homage. It just felt like they were trying to reboot the original film. And speaking of homages, that leads me to one one positive thing that is in this film.
The one positive thing in this film was that fact that Alexa Vega (who played Carmen in the original films) was in this film. And not for a quick cameo, she was in this for about half of the film and she has an important part to the plot. Daryl Sabara(Juni) comes in around 3 quarters of the film but he doesn't do much. He was just there for the novelty of it. The only other person who came back was Danny Trejo(Machete) but he was in it for around 5 seconds. Talk about a cameo.
The only thing that I loved about this film was the scene where Carmen introduces the two main kids to the recently shut down Spy Kids division where they had nearly ALL of the original gadgets from the first 3 films. So we had heaps of flashbacks of the original films and..it only made me want to watch the first 3 films all over again. And then we have a montage of Carmen And Juni using the gadgets and I have to admit, that made me smile :D But then we got back to this movie and I actually groaned..I just wish we were watching something even remotely like the orginals..
So..Yeah..I really did hate this film. Some of the scenes were unbearable to watch, the writing was so bad that they had to rely on poop and fart jokes for laughs, the actors were horrible to watch and the 3D sucked. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone!  Avoid this film like the plague! The only redeeming factor is the fact that Alexa Vega came back and you will be able to watch the scenes she is in on youtube..So don't pay to watch them! I'm glad I didn't have to pay for this, I had a voucher where I could get in for free so that makes me feel a bit better.
I have to give this..2 out of stars. I gave it one extra star for the appearances of some of the original case coming back.

P.S...and the sniff card things SUCK!! I can tell you why its free...because all you will be sniffing is cardboard or vomit flavoured scents >.<

Watch the trailer below:

1 comment:

  1. Couldn't agree more. i worshiped the originals, especially Island of Lost Dreams. Most of your comments echo my thoughts exactly, the script was like it was written by kids, for kids. What CRAP!!! The puns... the vulgar humor, the DOG!!! .___. Jessica Alba just plain annoyed me, she's supposed to be able to act! The one redeeming factor was definitely Carmen's return. She was awesome as ever! That scene introducing the spy kids division gave me such a serious case of nostalgia. I felt the plot was extremely weak, and the performances had no depth. The villain was less scary than Floop, at least he was awesome! The twist was you were meant to feel sorry for him... They screwed everything up, apparently Antonio Banderas WAS filmed, but his scenes were cut, WTF! And even the plot with Carmen and Juni was screwed up to the point it almost made me want to scream. Juni quit the OSS LAST film... Now you expect me to believe he was gone 7 years "trying to make it alone" SHUT UP. I'll stop here, you covered it all! haha.

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